this is not a rough draft.

There's something precious about finding fellowship with Mary as a mother during this season. I am stretched thin with giving in every regard, as Ann Voskamp so elegantly puts it--"like a pregnant belly." I remember my own belly that was pulled taut and itchy with anticipation only weeks ago. Now my son is here as well as our joy that came with him, but the work has just begun. I am a night owl by duty (not choice), keeping watch with little Asher. We hear the passerbys of other night owls' cars and wonder what their story is....why they are out late or early...and where is that line between the two anyway? I have no mornings because I really do not have nights. I am a mother to a newborn with an awake and energetic 3 year old, and.... there truly is no rest for the weary.

Thank goodness that His burden is light.

So I sit and feed, bound by my tiny son's hunger, and I can't help but wonder if it is God's intent that we slow down as mamas and marvel at it all. At the speedy creation of a new soul in only 9 months, at the ability for our own bodies to continue on in provision for their gaping mouths. I wonder if Mary kept watch with her Baby Jesus... hoping that those passerbys were kindred spirits to her hope. Did they murmur a "do you know what I know?" to their friends and family back at their homes? Did unknowing strangers show her mercy as a new mother? Did she cry with the awe of it all when he peacefully slept, all the while keeping watch over her... keeping watch over Him?

It is a mystery this Gift we've been given; one that I don't even pretend to understand as I fumble in the dark toward morning...feeding, hoping, listening.