Sunday, October 26, 2008

I am often somewhere in between "this is too hard" and "I am so blessed" these days. Leaving 10+ hours away from family with a little one who's been sick too long and a husband out of town this weekend makes me realize where my self ends and God begins. Because when a child is crying inconsolably for an hour or fussing the entire day, the only thing I can do at that last moment is to breathe deeply and say, "this is where I end, God." And fortunately, I believe He takes things into His own hands. For a moment, my child sleeps. The day speeds up. Or another blessing inserts itself as a distraction. When that happens, I take account of the battlefield of both my home (strewn with sippy cups, kleenex, and medicine) and and my heart (strewn with negative thinking and exhausted love).

And I can only come away with this:

I am so blessed.

Not with just material things that most of the world doesn't have. But also a God who loves us enough to take over when things end. Our patience. Our strength. And our best efforts for a good day.

This was all written while waiting out a night terror. Spirit of peace, please come.


anne said...

It is a battle. I'm glad God was and is a comfort to you...always. :)

Kylie said...

I needed this post today. Thank you. In no way is my comment to be a "one up" but rather a "I'm there, too." Avery's been sick this week, too- we ended up in the er on Monday to get some fluids in her after much vomiting. Anyway, just a yucky stomach bug but it is SO hard on their bitty bodies.
I have felt so incredibly overwhelmed this week. I just can't seem to get a handle on things. But just now, reading your post, I was able to pray and mean it- I am at my end, God and I need you! To give me peace and give health to my babe.
Thank you for sharing and I hope there is peace and health in your home this week!!