this is not a rough draft.

I officially missed my 10 year reunion this weekend.

Somehow, I kept thinking that I might be able to swing driving 10+ hours at the last minute, but the truth is, other plans were already in the mix, not to mention a little girl who needed her mama. I spent Friday night with some old friends from seminary, and Saturday night relaxing with my sweet hubby after he had been gone for a week. Definitely not a bad way to miss seeing everyone, but my heart still hurt when I look at pics today from one of my funnest (yes it's a word, people) friends from those years, Nicki.

I have been reflecting on what has changed in 10 years, and not just the usual stuff, like I graduated from Texas A&M, have worked in marketing/advertising/writing for the past 6 years, and lived in three different states. Because that's NOT change to me. That's just the background.

As for what really has changed about me, I think a lot of change is about my character. Here's a few.

--I've embraced writing as a calling. I put in on the backburner in high school and even college, but now I realize how much I love it. I think of all the "should haves" regarding high school, like I should have worked for the school paper, taken a journalism class, sought other opportunities...but I know that my journey here--to this mental place--means that everything I didn't do had a purpose.

--I'm not as nice anymore. I know this probably sounds negative...but I'd like to think it's a good thing. I'm not a doormat, and life in the corporate world has pulled that idea right out from me. Fortunately, I landed on my feet, but it hasn't been easy. I've also developed a strong sense of urgency for social justice. There are so many things that happen in this world that just plain aren't fair. I believe there is incredible power in prayer when change isn't attainable. But, if you can be doing something about an injustice, do it.

--My belief in Jesus has grown. I've gotten to see Christianity from many different perspectives. College made me realize how little I really knew about what I believed. Seminary made me realize how little I knew about God's work in people, especially those who are incredibly different from me. I've seen lives restored, people redeemed, and visions come to fruition. Even thinking about it now, I can't believe how much I've learned, and how much I still don't know.

--I'm more of me. I've definitely picked up others' habits, good and bad, along the way. But along with those, I've become more of who I am. I'm an incredibly mixed up jumble of characteristics, and I've learned to embrace them all, starting with my birth in the hippiest place in America to my childhood within a house of intellectuals to my clumsy maturing alongside the most merciful, gracious friends I know. I'm still learning not to bury those traits that don't seem to fit in a stereotype, but I believe I'm come a long way.

There you go. 10 years of change in one person. And just 10 years to go until the next reunion. What will change look like then?