Monday, October 20, 2008

I officially missed my 10 year reunion this weekend.

Somehow, I kept thinking that I might be able to swing driving 10+ hours at the last minute, but the truth is, other plans were already in the mix, not to mention a little girl who needed her mama. I spent Friday night with some old friends from seminary, and Saturday night relaxing with my sweet hubby after he had been gone for a week. Definitely not a bad way to miss seeing everyone, but my heart still hurt when I look at pics today from one of my funnest (yes it's a word, people) friends from those years, Nicki.

I have been reflecting on what has changed in 10 years, and not just the usual stuff, like I graduated from Texas A&M, have worked in marketing/advertising/writing for the past 6 years, and lived in three different states. Because that's NOT change to me. That's just the background.

As for what really has changed about me, I think a lot of change is about my character. Here's a few.

--I've embraced writing as a calling. I put in on the backburner in high school and even college, but now I realize how much I love it. I think of all the "should haves" regarding high school, like I should have worked for the school paper, taken a journalism class, sought other opportunities...but I know that my journey here--to this mental place--means that everything I didn't do had a purpose.

--I'm not as nice anymore. I know this probably sounds negative...but I'd like to think it's a good thing. I'm not a doormat, and life in the corporate world has pulled that idea right out from me. Fortunately, I landed on my feet, but it hasn't been easy. I've also developed a strong sense of urgency for social justice. There are so many things that happen in this world that just plain aren't fair. I believe there is incredible power in prayer when change isn't attainable. But, if you can be doing something about an injustice, do it.

--My belief in Jesus has grown. I've gotten to see Christianity from many different perspectives. College made me realize how little I really knew about what I believed. Seminary made me realize how little I knew about God's work in people, especially those who are incredibly different from me. I've seen lives restored, people redeemed, and visions come to fruition. Even thinking about it now, I can't believe how much I've learned, and how much I still don't know.

--I'm more of me. I've definitely picked up others' habits, good and bad, along the way. But along with those, I've become more of who I am. I'm an incredibly mixed up jumble of characteristics, and I've learned to embrace them all, starting with my birth in the hippiest place in America to my childhood within a house of intellectuals to my clumsy maturing alongside the most merciful, gracious friends I know. I'm still learning not to bury those traits that don't seem to fit in a stereotype, but I believe I'm come a long way.

There you go. 10 years of change in one person. And just 10 years to go until the next reunion. What will change look like then?


walkers said...

you were missed. i love the changes you have made. lovely.

Jill said...

that is so funny- also i didn't know you had emailed me- i just called last night- love you and thanks for the sweet compliment and right back at you!

Mandy said...

i love the way that you inspire me each time i read your blog to go deeper into whatever spiritual journey i'm currently pursuing. we missed you so much last weekend, but i think the time you spent reflecting on what really matters as far as your life changes was better spent than the rest of us wondering how our hair looked. :)